wow:"Making the Band"

50 Cent is a warrior, Tori Amos is a paladin, Jimi Hendrix is a mage, Tommy Lee is a priest and J Lo is a warlock. Not only do they make sweet music, but they’d also make a great instance group.

After spending a Saturday night in WoW-land, I went to church the next morning. I really didn’t pay too much attention to what the pastor was saying as I was still fuming over the crappy pickup group I was with the night before. Then the church band started playing and I had a revelation: putting together a good WoW group is a lot like putting together a good rock band. If you think about it, each party member is like an instrument in a rock band. And if all the instruments play well, you have a good band. Bad instruments = crappy band. There are 3 main functions that a person can perform in a group: tanking, DPS and healing. Tanking requires getting and keeping aggro, so I liken that to singing. DPS is about causing damage, so liken that to instruments that damage your ear drums. And healing is like keeping a beat and being the backbone of a party. So here is my metaphor for what instrument each class plays:

Warrior = Lead vocals. The main job of the warrior is to tank. A good tank grabs all of the aggro and keeps the attention of the mobs away from the other party members. The lead singer is the one person in the band who draws the most attention when on stage. Cameras are always on them and the most famous rock stars are usually the lead singers. Not many people come to a concert to watch the drummer or the bassist; they pay their hard-earned money to see the lead singer. Famous warriors: Gwen Stefani, Mariah Carey, 50 Cent.

Paladin = Piano/Vocals. When I think of a paladin, I think of a big hulking mass that grabs the attention of the mobs. When I think of a piano in a rock band, I think of a big hulking mass on stage that grabs the attention of the fans. In the few rock bands that use a piano, the pianist is also the lead singer, just like sometimes the paladin is the main tank of the group. In some songs, pianos are used to keep a beat, just like in some instances, paladins are asked to heal. Famous paladins: Tori Amos, Ben Folds, Elton John.

Priest = Drums. Drummers are the lifeline of the group. They keep the beat and control the pace of the music. Priests are arguably the most important member of the group. Their healing skills (or lack thereof) control the pace of how fast groups can go in an instance. The tank wouldn’t dare pull if the priest was oom. Most rock bands need to have a drummer, just like most groups need a priest. Famous priests: Tommy Lee, Lars Ulrich, Keith Moon.

Mage = Electric Guitar. Much like how a mage spams out DPS and AOE on mobs, the electric guitar wails out guitar riffs on the audience. Like the mage, the electric guitar is the loudest instrument on stage and thus creates a lot of attention. No instrument can cause more damage to your ear drums than the mage/electric guitar. Famous mages: Jimi Hendrix, Eddie Van Halen, Santana.

Rogue = Bass Guitar. Most people don’t even notice the bassist when he’s on stage. But that’s exactly how the rogue works, under the radar. Bassists use stealth; they don’t want to draw attention to themselves but they do make a big difference. Listen to a band play with the bassist. Now take the bassist out and hear how the song sounds different. Group with a rogue. Then take the rogue out and you’ll notice a big difference, especially with the DPS. Famous rogues: Bootsy Collins, Sid Vicious, Les Claypool

Hunter = Acoustic Guitar/Vocals. A mage is to electric guitar as a hunter is to acoustic guitar. In a group setting, the hunter is primarily a DPS. Like the electric and bass guitar the hunter is a stringed instrument. Of course, the acoustic guitar will never be as loud as the electric guitar but the acoustic guitar has one huge benefit over their electric cousin: the ability to solo. The singing ability is like a hunter’s pet. The pet can off-tank or be used for soloing. Famous hunters: Dave Matthews, Jewel, Jack Johnson.

Druid = Keyboards/Synthesizer. The druid is versatile. He can heal, tank, and DPS to a lesser degree. The druid and paladin play similar instruments; they both tank, heal and DPS to a lesser degree. But druids are more healer and less tank, thus the keyboard can create electronic beats similar to a drummer. That’s why many druids are recruited to be the healer for the group. Famous keyboardists: Chemical Brothers, Trent Reznor, Vince Clarke.

Shaman = Turntables. Turntables and DJs are more prevalent in hip-hop music and usually have a more “bad boy” image about them. Shaman are horde “bad boys” that are similar to druids in that they are a jack of all trades and master of none. DJs can create beats (heal), scratch records (DPS), and play records (totems). Famous shaman: Jam Master Jay, DJ Lethal, Mix Master Mike

Warlocks = backup dancers. They don’t tank, they don’t heal and they don’t DPS. Thus, they don’t play an instrument. With the exception of certain instances, the warlock is the least sought after class. Do you need a warlock in your party? No. But they’re pretty cool to have and they’re certainly not worthless. Soulstones, curses and off-tanking pets are just a few of the things a warlock can do in a party situation. Where are a warlock outshines all other classes is their ability to solo. Dancing is an art form all on its own and when they’re on stage at a concert they’re pretty cool to watch. Famous warlocks: J Lo, Paula Abdul, NSync (ok they also sing, but they’re better dancers than they are singers).

So let’s inspect some of the popular music groups out there:

U2: warrior, priest, mage, rogue. Your basic rock band, and a functional WOW group.
Green Day: mage, rogue, priest. They spam out so much DPS, they don’t need no stinkin’ tank!
Limp Bizkit: warrior, rogue, priest, mage, shaman (would make a nice 5-man instance group)
Grateful Dead: 2 hunters, 2 priests, 1 rogue, 4 druids, 1 paladin and 1 warrior (if you count them all)
NSync: 5 warlocks. No wonder why this group sucks.
Cypress Hill: 2 warriors, shaman, priest
The White Stripes: mage, priest. A magical duo.
Chemical Brothers: 2 druids
Ben Folds Five: paladin, rogue, priest. An interesting combo but the tank/DPS/healing trio is there.
The Carpenters: priest, paladin. Karen is better known as a warrior.
P-Funk: let’s just say there’s enough here for an MC raid.